Feeling Blah...

Lately, I've been feeling just weird, undescribable. I feel that I haven't live to my fullest. Many different things have caused this feeling to come upon me. I feel sort of disappointed with myself. I hate how shy I am, I hate the low self-confidence and esteem I have. It's disappointing that I have lived what are supposed to be the "best" and in my opinion the most enjoyable "teen" years of my life with these things hindering me. I've never been able to express myself in certain situations and I try to cover my low self-confidence about myself with humor and atention craving actions. See, looking back on these high school years as we draw so near to the next era in our lives I feel disappointed that these aspects that I could not seem to break restrained me so much, withheld me from achieving certain goals. I am saddened by the fact that I lost soooo many opportunities to experience so many different things that are now fading into the past. All I have left are "what if's" and "if only's" and it makes me feel horrible thinking about what could have been and what I wished so intensely for. I can not always get what I want, but the worst feeling, is in knowing that I may have been able to reach certain desires and yet i held myself back, never to have that opportunity again.

I'm sorry for the depressing post (Probably not what you expected when you kept telling me to post, Kayla) but I figured I'd put it out there now because I think understanding and discussing what has and still hinders my life, will make it easier to overcome and break through these boundaries.

Again I apologize for the sad post, and I thank any of you who have read through this and took your time to get through this.

~Flick

Artistic Emotion

Ok, so the last couple nights a creative streak hit me and i couldn't help but write...Maybe it was of emotional influence or just a pent up creative expression. I do not write much, and the creativity i usually express is through my architecture and humor. Yet i started writing and writing...and as i told some people...I wrote a poem nonetheless. It is pretty long, and it is in a random form, rather...less rythmic and more prose i guess. It is in a conversational form, hoping to connect more personally to people. It is pretty emotional and really much of a love poem...I don't know if anyone is interested but as courtney said this phenomenon is something that requires a blog since it is so rare. If you might be intersted in seeing the poem let me know...its pretty long so emailing would be better than putting it on here....so hit me up you all know how to get ahold of me haha.

On A Lighter Note!

IT IS SUMMER. YESTERDAY WAS AWESOME!
The beach in the morning which felt weird on a Wed. :P then ushering at the seniors graduation. Offcially a SENIOR!!!! Summer hopefully will be Flicktastical. I do have a summer class but it is only 6 weeks and is weight training. Slightly depressing that we are possibly losing 4 students from our class, but they know what they did wrong and hopefully this will help them change their wyas for the better.

For all my friends new and old, we need to hang out over summer. I have never really been able to without a car but now that i have one i am more mobile. Hit Me Up WHENEVER! Its really sad because i never seem to keep in touch with friends over the summer and i really wnat to, so i really wnat to chillax with you guys. Hopefully we can have an amazerific time. Best summer wishes to you all.

See you in the fall!

Love
~Flick

So There's This Friend

Ok so one of my friends is going through something, well rather doing something, that in my opinion will not turn out the way they hope. In fact in all probability it will make their life worse. I am now in a perdicament whether or not to tell the person how i feel about what is happening. On one hand it may save them from the problems that in my opinion are in the future, and on the other hand it may destroy our friendship, and i don't want that to happen. So i guess i'm kinda stuck between and friend and a hard place. Some people know of what i am talking about and some don't, but either way if anyone can give me their opinion on what i should do it would really be appreciated.

Thanks
Love Ya'll

Tonight

Well I Haven't Posted In A While And Tonight Is Better Than Any Other So Far. Tonight i went to the Tuesday Night High School Worship at FCC and i really got into it. I have never been very religious, and my faith was severely crippled after my brother's death. I didn't see a point, I believed in God but I was angry with him. Everything happens for a reason I kept getting told but where was my answer, I have never recieved it. Yet tonight i felt a sinc eof security in my brother's death. I felt as though not God but, he was there with me. I felt like he was watching me and i felt protected. I never believed that something this profound would happen to me at church. Church has always been another, in my opinion, false need to show that you believe in something. I believed that church was just a place where people that had beliefs felt like they could secure them, and never really delved into myself and saw church as part of me. But as we stood singing and rejoicing I felt the prescence of my brother and I felt overcome with so many emotions I could not describe it. The hatred I have for God for not showing me why my brother was lost so tragically will always be within me, but tonight I got a sense that that was ok and that although the hatred brews within me God still loves me and my brother is ok and watching over me. I hope this is not the last time this feeling envelopes me. It strengthened my faith some and although waivering I long to continue my religious trek and see where it takes me.

I also want to thank Kayla, Amanda, and Courtney for inviting me and being at the Tuesday night meetings. I appreciate your friendship, and after tonight realize my love for you guys and all the aspects of my life.

Love Ya

~Flick

Oh My God!

Ok, so a lot of my friends from class and I went on this college trip for the last few days. It was quite amazing. There is so much to talk about that i don't know if i can fit it all in. There were points in which it wasn't so great sickness and some other stuff that you can ask me about if you want. But overall in my opinion it was a good trip.

Day 1: Woke up before the sunrise to catch the plane from San Diego to San Jose. I was holding some of Kayla's make-up and it was quite embarrassing (IT"S MANSCARA! :P). After arriving in San Jose we got on the bus and headed for Monterey Bay. After a fun little walk around downtown, seeing Kayla's old stripper suit :P and having some subway, we went out to the wharf and had to hustle back to the bus to get there on time.



We went to the aquarium for a while but it got a little boring after the amusement of Kayla's fear of sharks. We headed to our hotel next. It looked bad when we first arrived (we got lost here for a little), but the hotel turned out to be pretty cool. Max, John, Brian M. and I got the nice balla room since we traded Stephanie and Sue. Immediately we went to the beach, and later more people came down. THE WATER WAS SO COLD! We buried Max and Max and I have kinda a secret key word for something now SLAMIN'! After that we went back to the hotel and then headed to the Boardwalk. Kayla, Courtney, Max, Brian P., Jow, and I went down it and got some dinner at this Mexican place. GIANT BURRITO! enough said. On the way back we stopped by a couple stores and then we found it, amazing, WILSON! We went out to the beach and started playing volleyball. Courtney is really good, and i'm still getting sand outta my "hair" haha jk. We played for a while, then went back up to the hotel just to find out that we were about to head back down to play more with more people :P. After going to our room the girls played a prank with feminine necessities and tomato juice, John flipped out but max and i were like w/e. We went back to the hotel around 9:30 and most people headed to our room until about 11 when they left for their own rooms, soon later Brian M. and John passed out in our room while me and Max decided to chill out on the patio and just talk for a while, about 3:30 or 4 we finally fell asleep watching Carlos Mencia.

Day 2: Woke up at like 7 got ready and ate a little. We got a new bus (bigger) but the AC didn't work so at Walmart we switched to one, that unfortunetaly had a heated area on the driver side that took it's toll on me later. We went to UC Berkeley which was really nice, but had way to many stairs! lol. Telegraph Road was weird! After this we got back on the bus and i was by the heat, and headed to San Fran State, except we headed in the wrong direction had to turn around then got lost for like an hour in San Fran. I was like out of it just cause the heat and sun were getting to me, and Kayla was lucky and got to sleep through this lost incident. We got there and they were having a power outage. After a quick tour we headed for fisherman's wharf. We walked around for a while followed the girls shopping and i forgot my chocolate :P but it was cool, I Walk It Out, I Walk It Out! hahaha. We barely made it back to the bus, with some BK and green icees haha. Long drive back to the hotel. We got there and went to play volleyball, it was ok but not as good as the day before. Rainbow wasn't feeling well :P sorry had to. We went back to the hotel and chilled this is where all the stuff went down in the girls room hahahaha max. Then later everyone chilled at Our room thet night.





Day 3: Another bus, another morning, i wasn't feeling to great this day, physically and some other stuff i was thnking about. We went to UC Santa Cruz and had a stoner tour guide. Good guide just weird when the adults were gone :P. It was nice but yeah, the we went back to San Jose and went to state there. It was hot and sunny but not a bad campus in the middle of the city. Later went to a mall and followed the girls around again. Finished there we some extreme bouncy ballin. Went to the airport and got to our gate, played cards for a while, and i really was feeling bad thats why i was really slow in Egyptian Rat Screw i think its called. We had a nice little plane ride we this awesome flight attendant. We played some rumey and go fish, and this secret that i am supposed to keep show its ugly head, but w/e. We got to SD and got off, i was really tired, forgot my chcoclate in max's bag and had to go get it. After saying goodbye, i left and got home, packed up my backpack for school today, took a shower, got attacked by my dog, and then went to bed on my new mattress and temper putic or however its spelled. Woke up today to see amanda's pictures up and was happy, and wnated to post so yeah.

Good trip overall.
~Flick

Well Haven't Posted For A Bit

Cause not much i have to say lately. Today was funny Daniel changed the clockin class and we got out 10 minutes earlier we have to stay later tomorrow, but w/e. College trip this weekend, gonna be sweet! My friends and I are gonna have a lot of fun i think. It will be great to just chill and go on those tours. Always better than school :P.

I don't have anything planned for this saturday, it's prom but i'm not going, just not into this year. Senior prom definately but not this year. Lots of friends taking SAT, if anyone wants to chill hit me up we can do something.

Well yeah i'll talk to you all later.

Luv Ya'll

~Flick

Miss Amazing

Yes Miss Amazing has a blog now. That's Kayla, she's another friend of mine, which is awesome! (3 people now :P). She's really cool, except she always calls herself dumb, when everyone knows it is not true. She's really funny, mostly because of her extreme randomness (possibly ADD) :P. Oh, and she has probably one of the most amazing poems ever on her blog, it's awesome. Well, yeah this is mostly a response to her sarcastic comment! haha. But yeah knowing 3 people that have blogs, is really cool! Wooo lol.

Luv Ya Kayla
Ttyl
~Flick

My Life Lately

Been Great in my opinion. It has been smooth roads recently. I had a great time with some of my friends tonight and more fun is planned for tomorrow. I've been living life and loving it (i say this alot). I have to decided to take a new move in life, kind of lay back and let it roll along and fall into place itself. So far it has been working pretty well. I think something my friend Courtney was talking about in a comment she left another one of my friends works for this: "like the old saying about letting something go, and if it returns, it's meant to be...". Its pretty true and works well. You learn what is true in your life by following this.
As for some of my friends life ahs been rough lately, and although i can try to help, the only real thing i can say right now is try this way of living. Let life roll, sometimes the results are difficult to consume, but life is difficult to consume, and if you take your time and just set back and look at the way it falls into place. Take yur time to make decisions, the path that is the best for you will most likely reveal itself.

Other that than I will always be here for any of you, but through experience this is what may help.

Live and Love, let it fall into place.

Luv ya All

~Flick

My Friend

So my friend is having a rough time right now. He is sick of all the bashing that he has sustained from people throwing disses at him, and i agree. I've realize the effect they have on him and it worries me. I feel like an a**hole because i too messed with him. I didn't see much of it because he is my friend and i ignorantly thought we were cool because i was just joking with him. I was wrong and feel horrible. Today is a turning point in my life, it is time to try to stop this "innocent" joking. It is not "innocent" and it is not cool.

I apologize for the childish bulls*** i have pulled throughout the years, and i will be trying to stop this so called joking on my friends which is really nothing but a pathetic attempt at a shallow laugh.

I love to be funny, but have realized this is the wrong way to go about it. I don't want to lose any humor i have, but i do not want to destroy friendships i have made. I am on a destructive path, that could ruin any relationships with anyone, and it needs to stop.

This has changed my view on reality and my friendships.
I apologize again for my actions regarding all friends friends who i may have hurt in my ignorance.

I love you all and never meant to hurt any of you.

~Flick

Wonder Twins Is Right John!

So, this is pretty much gonna be the same as my "Wonder Twin" John's post, but i might as well give you my perspective. At first glance Cal Poly SLO, seemed, well... not what i expected. The first glace of the college you get as you enter the campus is of a broken down barn, some tractors, and a field of sheep, yet it turned out cooler than i thought. After a long ride full of crazy events and a lot of fun with my parents and "Wonder Twin" John, and after a nice stay at the motel, we strolled (long hiking really) arounf the San Luis Obispo campus, which changed our thoughts for college. We saw some amazing feats of architectural and engineering achievement, a great gallery of work and the awesome little " bridge between nature and technology event". Overall, a great trip and experience. An amazingly fun and eye-opening trip for the college seeking architectual "Wonder Twins"!

JOHN

My Friend John got a blog he said he has wanted to start one and he saw mine so he figured he would. It's cool cause now i have 2 people i know on this blog (Courtney and John):P. Sweet! Haha well yeah i'm at work so imma get back to well.. working :P. Peace!

~Flick

Intro

Ok, i have a little time before i start on my history homework, so i figured i'd put up a little background and introduction for this blog. If you don't know me, i am David, i have many nicknames, Flick is the most common. This last year has been remarkable. I left the traditional high school and started this amazing college/ high school. It is awesome, i've met some amazing new people and my life is going great. I have started going back to church and i really love it now. I have a really crazy life, so much happens and it is insane. I've never had a blog so yeah i'm new to this whole deal, but i look forward to getting into it. Live Life and Love it, You Don't Know What Can Happen.

~Flick

Day 1, The Beginning of a Legacy

Today I found out i really did lose my phone. My dog tore up my pants :P (was kinda funny actually). I got glasses which made everything super clear (it is awesome!). I got destroyed in my MMA match today, and i've started dieting and gonna be running a lot everyday, for this month! Going to Denny's with some friends like now so i'll be going. Peace!

This has been a day in the life of Flick