Well I Haven't Posted In A While And Tonight Is Better Than Any Other So Far. Tonight i went to the Tuesday Night High School Worship at FCC and i really got into it. I have never been very religious, and my faith was severely crippled after my brother's death. I didn't see a point, I believed in God but I was angry with him. Everything happens for a reason I kept getting told but where was my answer, I have never recieved it. Yet tonight i felt a sinc eof security in my brother's death. I felt as though not God but, he was there with me. I felt like he was watching me and i felt protected. I never believed that something this profound would happen to me at church. Church has always been another, in my opinion, false need to show that you believe in something. I believed that church was just a place where people that had beliefs felt like they could secure them, and never really delved into myself and saw church as part of me. But as we stood singing and rejoicing I felt the prescence of my brother and I felt overcome with so many emotions I could not describe it. The hatred I have for God for not showing me why my brother was lost so tragically will always be within me, but tonight I got a sense that that was ok and that although the hatred brews within me God still loves me and my brother is ok and watching over me. I hope this is not the last time this feeling envelopes me. It strengthened my faith some and although waivering I long to continue my religious trek and see where it takes me.
I also want to thank Kayla, Amanda, and Courtney for inviting me and being at the Tuesday night meetings. I appreciate your friendship, and after tonight realize my love for you guys and all the aspects of my life.
Love Ya
~Flick
About Me
- David Flick
- I'm David (Or,Flick, Flicky, coolwHip etc.), ill be 17 in Aug. I go to Grossmont Middle College High School (College and High School together). I love all sports but i have a passion for Martial Arts. I love to talk, hang with friends, make people laugh, and just mess around.Im more sensative than people think, and less shallow than most, i try to be myself and pray for the best in my life..Recently I've been meeting a ton of awesome people...this new school is great...i love the way my life is going and there are few things i want to change...other than that it's all good in my neighborhood
4 comments:
Flick,
I am SO glad that you experienced that! I hope that someday you will feel God's presence and know that He is watching over you too.. not just your brother. I've never lost a brother, and even though my dad died, I was too little to know him. So I never had an attachment to him like you had to your brother, but in 2005 a friend of mine killed himself and that sent me spinning. I'm not gonna go into it cuz I'm not proud of the stuff I did, but I know (at least to some degree) what you're going through and how it feels to lose someone you love. But I'm tellin ya that God can heal even the deepest wounds and that if you will just talk to Him and release things to Him, He WILL take care of them. I'm not trying to get all mushy or spiritual on you but it really is worth it to live all of your life for Him and to let Him take control of things. Cuz we're WAY better off in His hands.
So know that I love you and I am so glad that you are comming to HS Group. I can't wait to see you next Tuesday night!
Luv Ya,
Kayla
Hey man, sorry I haven't read this...I've been slacking in the blogger department. I suck, I know.
But anyway...
I am really sorry about your brother. I had no idea. And to be honest, I can't even begin to relate. Not really. All in all, I truly truly and deeply hope and pray that you will not hate God for taking your brother away. One of the most difficult things in the Bible for me to comprehend is the verse "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. " (James 1:2-4) In your situation, you likely matured a lot, you probably value life so much more. And you can relate to unbelievers who have lost family members in a way that I cannot. In a way that many people cannot--which makes you more complete. And perhaps the most important person you can relate to through the death of your brother is God himself. God lost his Son. God had to feel the pain of letting his Son come to harm, die a painful death, and go through complete hell--literally. God knows what you feel like too. He knows because it was probably hard for him to let your brother die. But he had to. And he can work that situation for good too, "...we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose"(Romans 8:28), just like he used his Son for good. Jesus' purpose was to save us. But your purpose could very well be to help people who have been in your same situation. If you let him, I have complete faith God will use this tradegy to bless you and bless your brother's name and memory. And I can only bet that that would make your brother so proud and so happy now as he looks down on you.
I will keep you in my prayers my friend :) and pray that God truly meets with you and touches your heart and helps you let go of everything, heal, and be blessed and used in powerful, powerful ways.
flick..im new to this whole blog thing but i really happy you were touched...i think that you should def. go to Future Quest because God is good all of the time and he will def. be felt ther...and by a chance that you arent satisfied there...you should go to camp. it is so much fun and a good way to meet new people...i know sounds a lil corney but i promise it is always worth it. we love you soooo much and i hope you continue to come to tues night!!!
amanda
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